Falling Up.

Yosef Goes Skiing.

2012-02-14T02:34:00.001-05:00

Here's my friend Wren as Yosef. When Eli was Yosef, I don't think she ever went skiing.

"She isn't alive."

2012-02-13T23:38:00.002-05:00

--A text from Meredith, when I texted her Helen Keller's Tweet.

"Helen Keller just Tweeted, 'Today I ran into an old friend. And some tables. And a wall.'"

2012-02-13T23:33:00.002-05:00

--A text from Merdeezy, about Helen Keller's Twitter page. VERY FUNNY, and I don't care who you are.

13.

2012-02-13T22:02:00.001-05:00

Thirteen. That's the number of people who either said, "Hey Rob Leebertson" to me today, or who told me how "funny" his blog is.

Yea...on Opposite Day.

"i deleted rob leebertson he is not my friend"

2012-02-13T18:08:00.001-05:00

--An e-mail from Steph. She's the best.

Imitation is the Highest Form of Flattery.

2012-02-13T17:53:00.001-05:00

Imitation, they say, is the highest form of flattery. This, I think, is true. You may have read before on this blog about a website called LeeCheck.org. LeeCheck.org was created by a couple of my classmates last year and was supposed to be a way for them to "fact check" the stories in my blog. Evidently they believe that I embellish the stories here, or at least spin them in such a way as to make me look good, and decided that the best way to correct these inaccuracies was to create a separate blog that laid it all out for the public to read.

Woodward and Bernstein these guys weren't, however, and their blog dried up from lack of curiosity by the blog-reading public, I guess. The last update was made on April 19, 2011--almost a full year ago. I guess the authors decided they had bigger fish to fry and had given up on the idea of competing with Falling Up.

I thought they'd given up, that is, until today. This morning, I received a Facebook friend request from Rob Leebertson, a name that sounds eerily similar to my own. Intrigued (because what else would I be), I accepted the request, and found an entire Facebook profile promoting the blog Felling Out.
In fact, Rob Leebertson had posted on the walls of each of his seventeen friends (seventeen of my friends, I might add), a recommendation that they visit his new blog.

So, I clicked the link...and was taken to a blog, that, sure enough, was dedicated entirely to making fun of me. That's it. And nothing else. Rob Leebertson's entire point in making this blog was to mock me and/or Falling Up. That's it.

Now, I suppose I should be insulted. I mean, really. After all, Rob Leebertson calls me vain and pompous more than once. But how insulted can I be, really, when someone has taken the time to 1) create a fake Facebook profile about me, 2) created a blog making fun of my blog, and 3) created (as of this post) SIXTEEN posts making fun of me? Clearly, this someone actually just wants my attention and is willing to invest several hours of his life making sure that he gets it.

What's more, his posts are actually funny. See, the thing about my blog is that it's rarely (if ever, actually) serious. It's only here as a way for me to laugh at the stupid things that happen in my life. Most often, these are things that I've done or problems I've caused, so really, this is just a blog about what a big idiot I actually am. Rob Leebertson, then, has actually just created a blog that does exactly what my blog does--make fun of me. Rob Leebertson, as it turns out, is actually quite witty (although not nearly as witty as the original). Here are a few of my favorite posts:

Some of these pictures were even stolen directly from my blog!

Now, if you're curious who the author of this blog is, well, it's actually a lawyer that evidently has NOTHING else to do with his time than create fake Facebook profiles and write blogs. That's okay, though. I don't mind. But here's hoping business picks up!

Merdeezy had a Wreck!

2012-02-13T17:24:00.002-05:00

Someone rear-ended Merdeezy today. Everyone is okay, thankfully!

"I sent you both."

2012-02-13T17:12:00.000-05:00

--Steph, to the professor today in class. She wanted him (and the rest of us) to know that she was the one that sent him that oh-so-important article.

Teacher's Pet.

"I am not worried about fighting you. I have an unlimited supply of round houses and have no hesitations about using them. My only problem is deciding whether to use my left foot or right foot. "

2012-02-13T15:40:00.002-05:00

--An e-mail from Brennan.

"You should eat the rest of this pie. The crust has trans fat in it. And you're fat."

2012-02-13T15:40:00.000-05:00

--A Facebook message from Eric.

This later resulted in him being restricted, which resulted in me being unfriended.

But we made up, and are friends again.

Clever.

2012-02-13T13:20:00.002-05:00

"I got a 4.0 in grad school."

2012-02-13T12:19:00.000-05:00

--Overheard from this group of students discussing their pre-law school successes in between classes.

Two things about this: 1) you both have rolling suitcases. And 2) "I got a 4.0 in grad school" is ALWAYS code for, "But I'm failing out of law school." And everyone knows it.

This conversation has continued...evidently the professor has told this lady that she talks to much in class and that she should "give other people a chance to answer." But, as she told her friends, she "doesn't talk a lot in class."

Yes, yes you do. You're what's known as a gunner. No one likes gunners.

Rob Leebertson?

2012-02-13T10:19:00.000-05:00

So this person added me on Facebook today. I mean, really.

Someone is going to get sued.

Ha.

2012-02-13T01:24:00.000-05:00

The Woman in Black.

2012-02-13T01:14:00.000-05:00

Today, Steph, Sarah Beth and I went to see The Woman in Black. It's that new movie with Harry Potter as the main character (not Harry Potter; the actor that plays Harry Potter in the movies). Anyway, it's a decent movie. It's not the greatest--as Steph pointed out, there's really nothing original in the entire thing--it's made up of plot pieces from lots of other horror movies. But it's jumpy, so it's got that going for it.

Thankfully, though, we went during the day, so our tickets were only $7.50. Although, that's down at Phillip's Place. Had we gone someplace around my house, we would have only paid $4.50 for a matinee ticket. Of course, there are no frozen fountains on this side of town.

But the thing about going down to South Charlotte--South Charlotte children. See, children down in South Charlotte grow up spoiled. As a result, they're not the most enjoyable creatures to be around. So their parents, who understandably get tired of them, drop them off at places like SouthPark Mall or the movie theater.

And that means the rest of us are stuck dealing with their ridiculousness. Like today, for example, in the front row of the theater were two boys, probably twelve or thirteen. Want to know something about twelve or thirteen year old boys? They're annoying. Every. Single. One. They suck. For starters, they say stupid things. And then they think that every stupid thing they say is the funniest thing ever. And they laugh. What adds fuel to their fire is when twelve and thirteen year old Hannah Montanas get around them and laugh as these asinine comments. It's a vicious cycle. I know this, because I used to run a Boy Scout camp. You know who comes to Boy Scout camp? Twelve and thirteen year old boys.

Well, anyway, these two idiot kids in the front row thought that they needed to shriek at every sort-of scary part of this movie. And then they'd laugh uncontrollably. This lasted for at least the first hour, until two middle-age women sitting near them walked out, muttering "You're ruining it for everyone else." The women never came back (so I suspect they really had other reasons for leaving), but I think the kids got the point. At least for a minute. But then, two of their stupid girlfriends came RUNNING in to see them. Keep in mind, we're still in the middle of a movie. So then the four of these little Einsteins had a conversation about something stupid (probably Pokemon) before the girls (who kept laughing at these mini-tools) ran out. I guess that must have gotten all their obnoxiousness out of them, because they seemed to settle down for the rest of the movie.

Yegh. I hate kids.

The Rock.

2012-02-13T00:56:00.002-05:00

Scenes from Andrew's drive back to Wilson...

It's the Rockingham County Speedway, which used to be a big deal. Now, it's not so much.

Lee the Plumber.

2012-02-13T00:55:00.000-05:00

So I'm a plumber. At least, I will be.

I've been having problems with the hot water heater at my house. I'm going to change out the pressure relief valve this week, which will solve the problem. I've just been reluctant to do so, because it's going to take a lot of my time.

Oh, and if you're wondering; that rubber-sealant-in-a-can shit they sell on TV? Yea, don't buy it. It's expensive. And messy. And not all that effective.

GROSS.

2012-02-13T00:49:00.001-05:00

This is the grossest thing ever. Andrew sent it to me. It's a scientific study about the way your body digests Ramen (and other processed foods) vs. natural foods.

GROSS.

Law School.

2012-02-12T21:07:00.002-05:00

Amazing.

2012-02-12T20:34:00.000-05:00

I can't embed this, but click here and watch it. It's amazing. Thanks for sharing, Steph.

Too Soon?

2012-02-12T10:36:00.002-05:00

Happy Birthday, Amanda!

2012-02-12T10:35:00.001-05:00

It's Amanda's birthday week, so a few of us went out on Saturday night to celebrate.

Creshin.

2012-02-12T01:37:00.000-05:00

Look at Creshin go!

He made fun of me for all my typos when I was class scribe. So then he had to do it. Sadly, he had no typos. But when you spend every Friday and Saturday night on Reddit, of course you're going to be a skilled typist.

I'll be hiring a secretary in a few years, Creshin. Be sure to apply.

Tech Support.

2012-02-12T01:34:00.000-05:00

On Friday morning, my mom called me and asked if I could by the house and look at the printer. Evidently, Eli had a job interview and was trying to print off copies of her resume, but he printer wasn't printing. Now, I had JUST set this printer up only a few weeks prior, so I knew (barring someone throwing it down the stairs) that everything was working just fine.

I didn't understand why it wasn't printing. Of course, Eli's interview was in an hour, and there was no way I could get to the house and get it fixed before she had to go. So instead, she had to go down to the office to print off her resume.

Today, with the house to myself, I went over to finish connecting the VCR/DVD player to the new TV downstairs and see if I could troubleshoot the printer. It took me exactly three seconds to diagnose the problem: someone had disconnected the printer's USB cable from the computer. That was it.

I plugged it back, and three seconds later, it began shooting out SEVENTEEN (that's 1-7) copies of her resume.

What would they do without me?!?

Lee Qui Qui Robertson.

2012-02-12T01:23:00.000-05:00

Today, I ran to the mailbox, hoping that my Swiss Army USB Flashdrive would have arrived. It had not. Instead, I found this catalog, addressed to Lee Qui Qui Robertson.

I mean, really. I''m not sure what's worse: the fact that one of my "friends" actually took the time to sign me up for a catalog that deals in women's wigs and hats or the fact that this company just assumed my name was "Lee Qui Qui Robertson."

As Seen on TV!

2012-02-12T01:07:00.002-05:00

Look at what I ordered:

Now, if only I had a leak to fix...

Eli's First Byline!

2012-02-12T01:06:00.000-05:00

Check this out--Eli started a new job on Monday with the Stanly News and Press--the local newspaper for Stanly County, North Carolina.

Her first day was Monday, and on Thursday, she already had three articles in the paper, including one on the first page, above the fold.

Congratulations, Eli!

Ohhhh, and if you're not sure where Stanly County is (it's the home to the Town of Albemarle), then here's an example of the people that one can usually expect to encounter while there:

Definition of "Barbara."

2012-02-12T01:00:00.003-05:00

Freaky Facebook Stati.

2012-02-12T01:00:00.000-05:00

This is just freaky.

Merdeezy and Dad Watch Basketball.

2012-02-12T00:55:00.000-05:00

For Christmas, my sister bought her and my dad tickets to the UNC game today in Chapel Hill. Here they are--you can see my dad scheming on how to collect souvenir cups (he managed to get three).

Another Words Victory.

2012-02-12T00:52:00.000-05:00

Andrew can't keep up. No matter how smart of a lawyer he is.

My DVDs.

2012-02-12T00:51:00.000-05:00

This is half of my DVD collection. I keep all my DVDs in my DVD closet downstairs. It was supposed to be a bathroom, but was built as a closet instead.

This is perfect--as a result, the house will NEVER sell (because there's no bathroom downstairs) AND I have an entire closet for nothing but DVDs.

Oh, and if you're wondering, YES they are in alphabetical order.

Lunch with Andrew S.

2012-02-12T00:48:00.000-05:00

On Friday, I made Andrew S. buy me lunch at Cracker Barrel to make up for being a dick the other weekend. He didn't want to, but he did.

Also, why was there a knife in my chair?

"Dad is plotting how we can get cups."

2012-02-11T14:19:00.001-05:00

--A text from Merdeezy, who is at the UNC game with my dad.

"I sound like a dictator."

2012-02-09T17:24:00.001-05:00

--Mallory, on the potential graduation party.

"Important Bar Question"

2012-02-09T15:53:00.003-05:00

--The subject line of the e-mail I sent the bar passage counselor at school today.

Inside, it said, "Did you watch the game last night? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

He went to UNC, and I knew he wouldn't open any e-mail that referenced UNC.

I'm so clever.

Score!

2012-02-09T11:06:00.000-05:00

Victory!

2012-02-09T10:56:00.002-05:00

My day just keeps getting made over and over and over...

What a Deal!

2012-02-09T10:30:00.003-05:00

Amanda Waits.

2012-02-09T02:09:00.000-05:00

She looks like a kid waiting for something.

"But mom! I'm tired of waiting! MOM! Can we go now mom?!? Can we go? MOM!"

Hi, Barb.

2012-02-09T02:07:00.002-05:00

A Barbaradate...

Oh, but it IS a word...

2012-02-09T02:06:00.002-05:00

Note that I'm playing this game with Amanda's mom.

More Parking Wars.

2012-02-09T02:04:00.000-05:00

But you know, before you get on me about my parking jobs, let's talk about the fact that there was a Charlotte-Mecklenburg school bus at school today. A school bus. And not the Gold Rush buses that real people ride.

No, this was a real school bus. Like that kids ride. WTF? Maybe CSL decided that we need more people at school, so they've opened up an elementary school in the Courtroom?

Thanks for sending me this picture, Ashley!

Parking Wars.

2012-02-09T01:50:00.000-05:00

Today, I arrived at school just before my 12:30 class. Of course, this is prime 1L class time, which meant EVERY SINGLE SPACE at school was full. Driving around the parking lot, vainly looking for a space, I even saw a student in a pickup truck hop the curb and park in the grass. (No doubt no one told him he couldn't do that).

But there wasn't a visitor space, or even a handicap space to be had. I left the parking lot, and drove over to Satellite Lot #1. I drove through that tiny lot looking for a place, but was instead met by a security guard in his electric car frantically waving his arms at me to tell me that "THERE ARE NO SPACES HERE!" either. Dejectedly, I drove over to Satellite Lot #2. This lot was half-full, so I was able to find a space, but it was far, far, far away from the building. The security guard drove over in his car and offered me a ride, but I still had a few minutes, and it wasn't raining (although threatening to any minute), so I thanked him, but said I'd walk.

Between classes, I went to get a snack, and decided to park in the main lot. By this time, it was just about empty. I guess I didn't exercise enough precision in turning into the space. Before I knew it, a picture of my poorly parked car was circulating on Facebook.

And, after reading my rants about the broken printers at school, one of my friends created this for the Facebook world to see.

That's not even that bad of a parking job. And anyway, what law student has time to make posters of my car in the parking lot?

No. No I am not.

2012-02-08T18:18:00.003-05:00

Alas, I won't be "saving you as a friend."

Yes, Indeed.

2012-02-08T17:25:00.000-05:00

Awesome.

2012-02-08T17:21:00.001-05:00

Look at what I bought:

It's a Swiss Army brand USB drive. I'm going to be the most rugged kid in the computer lab. Not only that, but it has a retractable ball point pen.

Oh, I ordered this through a site called The Clymb, which is a members-only site that sells outdoor and camping gear at really low prices.

If you're interested in joining, click here.

Dear CharlotteLaw IT:

2012-02-08T14:39:00.000-05:00

I have a question: what exactly do you people do all day long? I only ask this because I needed to print something today at school. And, as has been the case with just about EVERY OTHER DAY that I've ever needed to print something, the printers aren't working.

Both of the ones on the third floor are down. At least two in the library aren't working. The one on the fourth floor cannot connect to the network.

Why? Why is this? Why do I pay $35,000 a year to come to a school that makes no effort to ensure that students are able to print when they need to? It's a law school, people. It stands to reason that at a law school, people will need access to printers.

I have an idea: Why don't all the IT people go work on IT things, like the printers? Then, we'd be able to print. I mean really.

In Honor of the Game...

2012-02-08T14:35:00.001-05:00

I have reposted this:

Even MORE UNC.

2012-02-08T14:29:00.002-05:00

More UNC.

2012-02-08T14:28:00.002-05:00

Carolina Blue.

2012-02-08T14:26:00.002-05:00

"Her GPA was a .98. That's not a typo. .98."

2012-02-08T13:45:00.001-05:00

--Andrew, on one of his friends.

Internet Fights.

2012-02-08T12:02:00.002-05:00

"Good news: Rick Santorum won two primaries tonight, so maybe you'll get to vote for him for president."

2012-02-07T23:07:00.000-05:00

--An irate Chris, on who I should vote for.

Also, he says he is going to sue me.

Make Chris Mad: Vote for Pat McCrory!

2012-02-07T22:58:00.001-05:00

At Least I'm Not Quirky.

2012-02-07T22:43:00.000-05:00

Here's my cabinet in my kitchen.

For a Few of My Friends.

2012-02-07T22:40:00.002-05:00

Cars at the AutoBell.

2012-02-07T17:08:00.000-05:00

I got my car washed today at the AutoBell. Check out these cars that were there, too:

Those are some nice rims on that 1990s Town Car. The windows were tinted, too. I'm sure their business is perfectly legit.

I wonder how much of my money this CMS employee spent to have her school system car cleaned?

Funny.

2012-02-07T14:04:00.002-05:00

Civil Rights.

2012-02-07T14:03:00.002-05:00

Barb Goes to Bed.

2012-02-07T10:04:00.002-05:00

New Pocketknife.

2012-02-07T10:03:00.000-05:00

Weekend.

2012-02-06T18:16:00.000-05:00

This weekend--despite the fact that it was Super Bowl weekend--turned out to be really, really lame.

Well, not Friday. Friday was a lot of fun. On Friday, I had lunch with my friend Sara (who I haven't seen in months). She's leaving in a few days for four months in Italy, so I'm glad I was able to catch up with her before she did. We went to Zoe's Kitchen, which was good. I went to swim after that, and then Erinique and I had dinner at Three Amigos. She was at the library and wanted a break from studying. This worked out well, since I was leaving the Y around the same time she wanted to go eat.

On Saturday, I met Kirby and Katie for lunch. We went to Little Richard's BBQ. It was okay--but not great. I think once one has eaten Lexington BBQ, one is ruined for BBQ anywhere else. Little Richard's is "Lexgington-Style" BBQ, and I suppose that it is, but it's not nearly as good. And they have Pepsi, which sucks.

Later that afternoon, I went down to the Y to try and swim. I guess Saturday afternoon is the designated day for everyone who cannot swim to come to the Y and try. What this means, of course, is that those of us that can swim are stuck trying to share lanes with them. I'm going to write more about this later--but after only doing a 600 (that's like 24 lengths), I had to get out. The woman I was sharing a lane with didn't know how to swim, and couldn't figure out that she only had half the lane (at the Y, when there are two people in a lane, each person takes half the lane; that way, two people of different abilities can both use the lane at the same time). Instead, she ended up on my side more than on hers. And what's worse--every time she ran into me, she told me to watch out. Right, Lady. I'm the problem. You swim like you've had a stroke, but I'm the problem. Whatever.

Later that evening, I ordered a medium pizza from Papa John's. It was awesome. But when I was in the bathtub later that night, I started to feel sick. So sick, in fight, that by the time I got out, I felt like I'd been hit by a truck. I tried to sleep, but woke up a few hours later and felt like I was going to throw up. Now, I rarely get sick. When I claim to be "sick," that's normally just code for tired. But I really never get actually sick, and I certainly never throw up. In fact, the last time I threw up was in the summer of 2003 when a virus tore through summer camp, and Homer gave it to me (probably intentionally).

Anyway, on Saturday night, I woke up in the middle of the night, and somehow made my way to the bathroom. I guess I must have fallen asleep on the floor or something, because the next thing I remember, I was throwing up all over the bathtub. Throwing up. All over my bathtub. I cannot tell you how gross this was. Three times I did this! Three times!

I slept on and off the rest of the night until the next morning when I called my mom to tell her I was sick. The best thing about living near your parents, even if you are 31 years old? Your dad will bring you supplies when you're sick. He came over with several things of Gatorade, 7-Up and Saltine crackers. So for the rest of the day, I just laid in bed. I didn't throw up again, which was good, but I didn't do anything else. In fact, I managed to sleep through the Super Bowl. I didn't care too much about the game (although Hakeem Nicks went to Independence when I was a teacher there; this is him with Coach Knotts, who was the coach at Independence when he was on the team). I wanted to watch the commercials, though, but I fell asleep at 7:00, and the next thing I knew, it was 11:00. The Super Bowl was over.

But just as quickly as it came, my virus left, and when I woke up this morning, I was feeling 100% better!

Chris is from Here.

2012-02-06T17:43:00.000-05:00

Then again, my mom lived here for a while, too.

I found this here.

Woman Tasered in Front of Daughter After Cutting McDonalds Drive-Thru Line

North Carolina deputies say they used a Taser on a woman in front of her 3-year-old daughter after she cut the McDonalds drive-thru line and refused to move when she was denied service.

Employees at the McDonalds in Hope Mills, N.C., refused to serve Evangeline Lucca and told her to go to the back of the line. Lucca, 37, refused to move, and blocked the drive-thru for 20 minutes before police arrived on the scene, authorities said.

When deputies arrived, Lucca was "defiant," "would not get off McDonalds property," and was "threatening the deputies," according to Debbie Tanna, a public information officer for the Cumberland County Sherriff's Office.

Customer Anthony Rich, who was in the parking lot during the incident, told the Fay Observer that Lucca was Tasered twice.

"Two or three officers entered the car with her and started trying to forcibly drag her out of the car, and that's when you could hear the clicking sound of the Taser one time," Rich told the Fay Observer.

"They pulled on her a couple of times, and then they Tased her again, and when they Tased her the second time, she just flopped out of the car like a fish."

Tanna told ABC News that Lucca was "drive Tased in her side," which means deputies did not deploy the prongs from the Taser, they just gave Lucca an electric shock.

Lucca's daughter, who was in the car, was taken into protective custody.

Lucca was charged with second-degree trespassing, authorities said. Tanna said the woman was in custody, and would remain there until she pays her bond.

Birds of a Feather Flock Together.

2012-02-06T17:32:00.001-05:00

Today, at the graduation meeting, they handed out information about purchasing all the things we need for graduation.

They have frames we can buy for our diplomas. Here's a picture of the brochure:

There are three samples: one from Peirce College, one from the University of North Carolina and one from Kaplan University.

No one has ever heard of Peirce College, so I looked it up. It's a two-year trade school in Pennsylvania.

Kaplan University is a completely online school.

I think we know why UNC fits in here.

Souvenir Tassels.

2012-02-06T17:04:00.000-05:00

Oh look--in addition to my cap and gown, I can also order a souvenir tassel. You know, to hang on the rear view mirror of my windshield! Just like high school!

I had one when I was in high school. In my Camaro.

Degree Level: Doctorate.

2012-02-06T17:02:00.000-05:00

I ordered my cap and gown for graduation. And by ordered, I mean I paid $60 to rent it for three hours. $60. To rent it. For three hours.

Again, I have to RENT my cap and gown for graduation for $60.

I Know What I'm Doing Tonight!

2012-02-06T12:58:00.002-05:00

"My dad's accountant is a woman. I hope she knows what she's doing."

2012-02-06T12:33:00.002-05:00

--A text from Andrew S.

Oh, and here he is with his brother, circa a few years ago. They were fat fats.

"How is that not illegal?"

2012-02-06T12:31:00.002-05:00

--An e-mail from Logan, about the school's new program with Johnson C. Smith University.

Law School.

2012-02-06T11:46:00.002-05:00

More Weird Things in the Mail.

2012-02-06T11:45:00.000-05:00

Why did I receive a wig catalogue in the mail? I assume this goes along with the fake hair samples I got the other day? Of all the weird things I've gotten in the mail, this is one of the weirdest.

What is going on?

I realize I'm losing my hair. But I'm not going to a wear a wig. Who has decided that this is a good idea for me? Or maybe I could wear one. Maybe this month's "Style of the Month" is the one for me.

Barb Goes to Work.

2012-02-06T11:38:00.001-05:00

Barb went to Red Hat with Meredith.

The Outdoor Closet.

2012-02-06T11:37:00.000-05:00

In my house, I have a whole closet devoted my outdoor equipment. A whole closet.

Too bad I never really use any of it.

Oh, and if you're wondering why I have five sleeping bags, it's because when I worked for the Boy Scouts, one time, I got a $500 bonus in gift cards to the Boy Scout store. Do you know what there is to buy at the Boy Scout store? Sleeping bags. And that's it. Real cool, huh?

You can imagine our excitement when they told us we were getting $500 gift cards. And then they said to the Scout Shop. It wasn't exciting anymore.

Barb's Family is Famous.

2012-02-06T10:00:00.001-05:00

Look, Barb's dad (or brother) was on TV!

Rolling Suitcases.

2012-02-06T09:44:00.000-05:00

(Author's Note: This will appear in the next issue of The Advocate, the newsletter of the Young Lawyers' Division of the North Carolina Bar Association).

I tried to get on the elevator at school the other day. Now, this is hard at any school, but it’s especially hard at mine. Like most law schools, we’ve grown faster than our facilities (this is because there aren’t enough lawyers in North Carolina and jobs aren’t scarce, so law schools wants to continue to admit more and more students. That’s why I have a job making $80K when I graduate. Oh no, wait. No I don’t.). Most of the classes are scheduled so that students aren’t tripping over each other on their way to class, but in the morning, there is often still a line of students out the front door waiting on the elevator to come back down and carry more students upstairs. Because of that, we’ve sort of developed our own elevator society. There’s a hierarchy. Professors always get a ride on the first elevator, no matter where they are in line. People who can’t walk, of course, are also given priority. But after that, it’s survival of the fittest to get through the doors. And, because we’re in law school, we’re smart people. That’s why we know that when the doors open, the best thing is for all the people getting on is to try and squeeze past the all people trying to get off. That way, no one goes anywhere. Instead, it’s a squirming mass of elbows, arms, legs, and laptop bags. Despite this, elevator rides are generally civil (that I know of, there’s not been any disturbance greater than a few profane words between fellow elevator riders). But if you’re only riding up or down one floor, you better have a really, really, really good excuse (a missing limb works well; or to have died in the melee). There’s nothing law school elevator riders hate worse than someone who is only riding one floor. And of course, these people are ALWAYS the first ones on the elevator. You know what that means? They’re also the last ones off. If they’re only going up one level, that means that everyone has to get out just to let these one-flighters off, and then pile back in again.

The problem, though, isn’t the number of people that want to ride the elevators. No. The problem is the law students who believe that in order to be successful they must purchase every single book ever written about contracts or torts or property or whatever. Every single one. And these books must be transported in some way. Now that we all bring laptops to class (because have you ever sat through a two-hour class without Facebook or gChat?), there’s no room for them in our bags. Instead, ingenious law students have solved this problem by purchasing rolling luggage. They actually bring luggage. To school. They pack their books in suitcases and carry suitcases to school. Law school classes now look like airport terminals—harried, exhausted people with computers, coffee and luggage. Really. It’s ridiculous. I wish this was a problem limited to first year students, but I think it’s actually worse the further in you get. That’s because you realize that you have to have the casebook (of course, because otherwise you’ll look dumb if the professor calls on you), but everyone knows that Gilbert’s Outlines and the E&Es are how the game is actually played. So instead of buying one book for class, students end up with three or four. (Of course, this helps keep the costs of law school down, and prevents lawyers from struggling for years and years with student debt). I get all that. To date, I have amassed a collection of fifteen E&Es. But don’t bring them to class. And if you do, bring them in something you can carry on your back or in your hand. That way, when you get on the elevator at school, you’ll only need enough space for yourself, instead of space for you and your laptop. And your suitcase. Because we all know the only place you’re going is the library.

Facebook Chat!

2012-02-06T09:42:00.002-05:00

Did you know you can now video chat on Facebook?

My friend Eamon called me on Saturday night from his dorm room at Western Carolina (before I started throwing up), and we talked for a while.

Oh, that's me in the upper left corner.

True.

2012-02-06T09:41:00.002-05:00

Barb's Dad.

2012-02-04T18:57:00.001-05:00

Meredith sent me this; she's right!

Me.

2012-02-04T10:44:00.002-05:00

Another Lawsuit?

2012-02-03T23:53:00.000-05:00

Stay tuned...I have the complaint.

Woman Claims Big Breasts Impede Sobriety Test.

2012-02-03T23:50:00.002-05:00

HAHAHAHAHAHA. Read about this here.

Westlaw Can't Tell Time.

2012-02-03T23:48:00.000-05:00

Thanks, Westlaw.

You sent this thing out 25 minutes AFTER it started. Oh well.

"According to this test, I have Alzheimer's."

2012-02-03T23:45:00.002-05:00

--An e-mail from Sarah Beth, with this picture.

Famous.

2012-02-03T23:44:00.000-05:00

My friends are famous.

Their pictures are on the walls of restaurants around town.

I was worried.

2012-02-03T23:43:00.002-05:00

I was afraid they weren't going to admit more students. But they are! That's a relief.

"You didn't see me wave at you, because you were too busy texting. I didn't give you a ticket this time. I'm on patrol."

2012-02-03T23:41:00.002-05:00

--My father, who called me today after evidently passing me on the road.

Thankfully, he did not give me a ticket.

He is also not a police officer.

"I think Kristi and Alex have one of these."

2012-02-03T23:37:00.001-05:00

--A text from my sister, after I sent her this picture and asked her if she wanted me to order this for her.

Kristi and Alex are my cousins. If they have one of these, I'm embarrassed.

Deer Antler Lamps.

2012-02-03T23:35:00.000-05:00

I was in Homegoods yesterday, and found this gem. It's a deer antler lamp. That is, the base of the lamp is made of deer antlers. This reminds me of a similar lamp I once had.

Once, in college, a group of us (me, Kristin, Mitchell, Homer, Brandon, Seth, Matt, Koehler, and likely others) were driving around in Homer's burgundy Chevy Suburban in Blowing Rock. There were, however, no seats in this car, so it was all of us piled in the back. (Homer, for all his talents isn't a good driver. At all. His favorite game was to stare at the passenger in the car and see how long he could keep the car on the road without actually looking at the road. He drove a Suburban; it was a tank. It didn't matter what he hit, he'd keep on going).

Anyway, on that particular trip, Kristin found this lamp in a store up there and decided that she just HAD to have it. It was $70 (that's $70 in 2001 dollars; in 2012, that's closer to $86). How many college students do you know that have to have a $70 lamp? None. That's how many.

But Kristin did. So she bought it. And then all of us--with the lamp--piled in the back of Homer's car. This lamp sat in Kristin's apartment, unused, for years after that. Finally, one day, I took it. And it sat in my house, unused for years, until I gave it away to one of the rednecks that I used to work with.

And now I've found one in Homegoods. It wasn't $70. And I didn't buy it.

Books for Andrew.

2012-02-03T23:27:00.000-05:00

"Temporary Restraining Orders are just love notes from shy people."

2012-02-03T23:26:00.001-05:00

--A text from John.

Krazy Fish!

2012-02-03T10:48:00.000-05:00

On Wednesday, The Eric and I had dinner at The Krazy Fish restaurant. I've never been, but I've passed it often. It's in the Plaza-Midwood area of Charlotte, and you've probably seen it too: there are all kinds of weird ironworks out front.

I've heard good things about it, but I've never been. We tried to go the last time Kirby and Katie came to town, but because they only eat at chain restaurants, The Krazy Fish wasn't on their list.

But the food--wow. It was AMAZING. I'm really not a fan of seafood unless I'm at Lee's Inlet Kitchen in Murrells Inlet, because there I know the fish was in the water swimming a few hours earlier. I don't know--I'm always scared I'm going to get some bad fish or something. Even Red Lobster gives me the creeps.

We had an appetizer of mussels. I've never had mussels. I may not have them again. I mean they were good--really good, in fact. They came in this spicy sauce. But I don't know; eating mussels is just weird.

For my entree, I had Fried Fish Tacos. AMAZING. They were so good.

I want to go back. Just not with Kirby and Katie. They don't like it, because there are not yard sale decorations on the walls and the servers don't wear vests with flair.

Christian Porn?

2012-02-03T10:26:00.000-05:00

This can't be real.Then again, can it? Check it out here.

Getting Close!

2012-02-03T10:23:00.000-05:00

"• The members of the graduating class will nominate and select through a class vote one of their peers to deliver Student Remarks."

2012-02-03T10:15:00.001-05:00

--An e-mail from the school.

I'm going to put in to do this, I think.

Comic.

2012-02-03T10:10:00.002-05:00

It's Gets Better.

2012-02-01T23:22:00.001-05:00

Hockey Game.

2012-02-01T17:09:00.000-05:00

On Friday, a few of us went to the Charlotte Checker's game. And by a few of us, I mean ten (me, Creshin, Ben, Bryan, Courtney, Chris, Casey, Stephen, Mallory and Jeff). We met up with a few of our other friends there.

Before going to the game, we met up at some New York Pizza restaurant down in Ballantyne called Tony's Pizza. It was good.

After dinner, I met Ben at school and picked him up. We drove over to the arena, found a place to park (barely), and walked inside to meet everyone.

The game was fun, but we had to leave at the start of the third period. Ben was cold. Evidently, he missed the part that it was ICE hockey. Ice is COLD. That means if one sits in a room in which ice hockey is played, it seems reasonable that it would be COLD inside. Apparently, this was lost on Ben. So he was cold.

Long Hair. Don't Care.

2012-02-01T17:02:00.002-05:00